Santa is a Dancer

I went to the club late on Christmas Eve,
There was a party like you wouldn’t believe;
The beer was flowin’, the place was loud,
A man could get lost just workin’ the crowd;

I was on my second round and what did I see?
An old man with a beard was smiling at me;
He wore a red coat and he drove a sleigh;
Man, could that stranger slip and sway!

Santa is a line dancer, burnin’ up the floor,
He’s ringin’ those bells, and he’s ready to roar;
Santa is a line dancer, and he’s got the beat,
Better make way for those magical feet.

I thought I was crazy, couldn’t believe my eyes,
It’s the Miller talkin’, then I realized
Santa himself was out on the town,
Kickin’ up his heels before he made his rounds;

He was a hit with the women under the mistletoe,
They sat on his lap, now wouldn’t you know;
He took down their number, wouldn’t you bet;
This was a Christmas they’d never forget.

I watched him take off in his turbo-sleigh,
It had bucket seats and a microwave;
His side-kick was an elf in a mini skirt,
She wore a pointed hat and a sequined shirt;

I heard him shout as he hit the sky,
“Merry Christmas, y’all,I’ve got to fly!
Next Christmas Eve, I’ll be ready for more,
Babe, I’ll meet you out on the dance floor!”

Author bjorling@galesburg.net

 NB: All images are taken from the internet so if you know who they belong to let me know so I can give them credit.

Step Through the Looking Glass and read the  Red Queen Musings

 
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December Twenty-Sixth


I didn’t start my shopping
Till December twenty-first.
I haven’t baked a cookie yet;
Our tree this year’s the worst.

I’d better buy some Christmas cards
And get them out today.
There’s just no time for Christmas
As my life gets in the way.

The decoration bin is cracked.
The tinsel is all dusty.
My Christmas spirit’s all worn out.
My happiness is rusty.

I do love Christmas every year,
Although my feeling’s mixed.
(I think I’m looking forward to
December twenty-sixth.)

by Denise Rodgers

 NB: All images are taken from the internet so if you know who they belong to let me know so I can give them credit.

Step Through the Looking Glass and read the  Red Queen Musings

 
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One MemorableChristmas

One memorable Christmas not so long ago
Santa did something that no one should know,
But all of the reindeer were standing about
And one of them blabbed so the story got out!
Of how a bit more than just Christmas cheer
Got into dear old Santa that year!

According to Blitzen, (lead reindeer that Eve)
Santa was delivering at his usual speed,
They’d been going since nightfall and were making good time
When disaster struck at half past nine.
Santa entered a house at half nine or about
He entered it sober – then didn’t come out!

As Santa was later heard to explain
The whole sorry event was on account of the pain -
He’d had in his head for most of the day -
That an aspirin had refused to make go away.
And his head was ready to explode by the time
His eyes alit upon that ruby port wine.

On a stool near the fireplace next to a mince pie
That bottle of port caught our Santa’s eye.
And to clear up his headache he did what had to be done,
He poured out a glass full and downed it in one!
And after he’d emptied his sack of it’s load
He decided he’d have just one more for the road!

It got later, and the reindeer outside in the street
Began to get restless and shuffle their feet.
Then Blitzen decided to investigate
Where Santa had gone and why the long wait.
Through the window he peeked – what a nasty surprise
There was Santa asleep next to the mince pies!

The bottle was empty, Santa snoring away
Blitzen knew that his job was to now save the day.
Whilst staying quite calm he told the other reindeer
That Santa was changing the roles ’round that year -
That the elves who were normally just there for the ride
Would now be allowed to deliver inside!

So off they all sped, they had time to make up
The elves rushed about not believing their luck.
What with so much to do, there was no time to think,
Whilst Santa sat dozing, dreamless from drink.
All went very smoothly and nobody saw
That it was elves and not Santa who came to the door!

Just before dawn they returned to the home
Where Santa was sleeping by the fire all alone.
Blitzen knocked on the window, Santa finally awoke
But once outside it was Blitzen who spoke.
“I did what you asked, Sir” he said with a wink,
“And the elves did a wonderful job don’t you think?”

Santa was quick, in spite of his head
Which was throbbing again from the port, ruby red.
“Quite so, quite so,” he repeated with cheer,
“I thought you should all get a chance this year
To show what you could do if an emergency arose-
I mean, if I fell ill or broke one of my toes!”

But much later on, once they were home
Santa waited ’til Blitzen was all on his own
And promised him solemnly that next time they were out
He’d drink only milk – of that there was no doubt.
Yes, it was much better, Blitzen agreed
If Santa was sober each Christmas Eve!

Perhaps you might wonder, now the story is done,
How is it that I know just what went on?
Well, I once met a reindeer up on the hill
And I invited him in from the frosty night chill.
And Blitzen was so cold that after a time
I offered him a big glass of ruby port wine!

Author: Catherine Grieshammer

 NB: All images are taken from the internet so if you know who they belong to let me know so I can give them credit.

Step Through the Looking Glass and read the  Red Queen Musings

 
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A Politically Correct Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas and Santa’s a wreck…
How to live in a world that’s politically correct?
His workers no longer would answer to “Elves”,
“Vertically Challenged” they were calling themselves.
And labour conditions at the North Pole,
were alleged by the union, to stifle the soul.

Four reindeer had vanished without much propriety,
released to the wilds, by the Humane Society.
And equal employment had made it quite clear,
that Santa had better not use just reindeer.
So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid,
were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!

The runners had been removed from his beautiful sleigh,
because the ruts were deemed dangerous by the EPA,
And millions of people were calling the cops,
when they heard sled noises upon their roof tops.
Second-hand smoke from his pipe, had his workers quite frightened,
and his fur trimmed red suit was called “unenlightened”.

To show you the strangeness of today’s ebbs and flows,
Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose.
He went to Geraldo, in front of the Nation,
demanding millions in overdue workers compensation.
So…half of the reindeer were gone, and his wife
who suddenly said she’d had enough of this life,
joined a self help group, packed and left in a whiz,
demanding from now on that her title was Ms.

And as for gifts…why, he’d never had the notion
that making a choice could cause such commotion.
Nothing of leather, nothing of fur…
Which meant nothing for him or nothing for her.
Nothing to aim, Nothing to shoot,
Nothing that clamored or made lots of noise.
Nothing for just girls and nothing for just boys.
Nothing that claimed to be gender specific,
Nothing that’s warlike or non-pacifistic.

No candy or sweets…they were bad for the tooth.
Nothing that seemed to embellish the truth.
And fairy tales…while not yet forbidden,
were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden,
for they raised the hackles of those psychological,
who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.

No baseball, no football…someone might get hurt,
besides – playing sports exposed kids to dirt.
Dolls were said to be sexist and should be passe.
and Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.

So Santa just stood there, disheveled and perplexed,
he just couldn’t figure out what to do next?
He tried to be merry he tried to be gay,
but you have to admit he was having a bad day.
His sack was quite empty, it was flat on the ground,
nothing fully acceptable was anywhere to be found.

Something special was needed, a gift that he might,
give to us all, without angering the left or the right.
A gift that would satisfy – with no indecision,
each group of people in every religion.
Every race, every hue, everyone, everywhere…even you!
So here is that gift, it’s price beyond worth…

“May you and your loved ones enjoy peace on Earth.”

Author ~Anon  N.B: this is a SATIRICAL poem. The views expressed herein do not necessarily match my own and it should not be taken too seriously!

 NB: All images are taken from the internet so if you know who they belong to let me know so I can give them credit.

Step Through the Looking Glass and read the  Red Queen Musings

 
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Christmas

Author Liz: Garrad 

I’ve been getting ready for Christmas
I’m revving up for the great day
my credit card’s cracked and my freezer is packed
’cause I started my shopping in May

The mistletoe’s hanging in bunches
’cause the odd Christmas kiss isn’t wrong
and the Vicar I’ve found – quite likes calling round
and exploring my crowns with his tongue

The bin men have gotten quite friendly
they’re after a present I fear
they won’t feel so chuffed when I tell them – get stuffed
’cause they don’t speak the rest of the year

The family is coming for dinner
last year it was quite a good laugh
we ate fairly late – dished the veg on the plate
found the turkey was still in the bath

the Kids are all pink with excitement
’cause Santa will come so they say
their lists are extensive – extremely expensive
and they’ll break it all by Boxing day

But it’s worth all that fuss Christmas morning
when their little eyes are all aglow
when we’re all feeling merry full of goodwill and sherry
and suffering from wind Ho Ho Ho

But please don’t forget why we do it
why each year we must go to this fuss
for that guy up above who brought peace and brought love
and who probably owns Toys R Us……….


 NB: All images are taken from the internet so if you know who they belong to let me know so I can give them credit.

Step Through the Looking Glass and read the  Red Queen Musings

 
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Weather 18th December 2014 – Los Cristianos/Las Americas

A lovely bright morning but there are a few clouds hovering on the horizon and behind the mountain looks quite grey.  Temperatures are 20°C but it feels cooler.  

05-DSC05214Yesterday’s weather was very much like the previous few days, a bright and sunny morning and then an overcast afternoon although it is still warm 25°C+ for most of the day. Yesterday evening, I dressed warm having looked at the sky although long sleeves were needed it wasn’t cold and a couple of guys in our group only had short sleeve t-shirts although the women all had cardigans or jackets.

Evening

The following images are for Las Vistas Beach in the south of the island and Puerto de la Cruz in the north of the island and are taken from the webcam yesterday at 12.00, 3.00 and 5.00. These times are approximate and are at whatever is the nearest before or after the hour. You can check this  LINK and it will give you 72 hours of what has been/is happening should you wish to see.  You can also watch the time-lapse webcam for the previous day.

Las Vistas Beach – between Los Cristianos and Las Americas

Why not Step Through the Looking Glass and read the  Red Queen Musings
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The School Nativity Play

Author: Liz Garrad 

The children were all gathered to perform the Christmas play
They’d been rehearsed they were well versed in what they had to say
The parents were all gathered with smiles and brimming eyes
About to find that Christmas will involve the odd surprise

Joseph and his virgin were first to join the fray
To Bethlehem To Bethlehem on their merry way
Mary said I’m pregnant Jo I really need a rest
Joseph said – you’re not – that’s just a jumper up your vest

The Shepherds they were watching as their flock all grazed by night
And suddenly above them appeared a blazing light
First Shepherd cried “We’re chosen – it’s the Son of God I bet”
But was convinced by number two it was a Jumbo Jet

Gabriel was sulking coz he didn’t like his part
He wanted to be Joseph, knew the words all off by heart
When he appeared to Mary his face was very glum
’til he lifted up his long white robe and showed the world his bum

The Inn keeper was waiting, he was eager and excited
His parents sat there beaming they were clearly quite delighted
He opened up his door and with a very winning grin
Said rooms – yes we’ve got dozens take your coat off and come in

The first wise man he told the crowd they’d traveled from afar
The second one assured them that he’d come in his Dad’s car
The third he looked confused and with a voice that sounded tense
Shouted – I know about the Gold but what the hell is Frankincense

And so the play drew to a close in a manger all serene
With bated breath the audience took in the closing scene
Joseph looked around the room – a silence fell, it’s true
He cried  “Our Mary’s had a girl – we’re going to call her Sue”

 NB: All images are taken from the internet so if you know who they belong to let me know so I can give them credit.

Step Through the Looking Glass and read the  Red Queen Musings

 
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